After a brief email exchange with Joshua, I sent the first 57 pages of Firestar to him. Why 57 and not 50? The section ended with page 57. Now I cross my fingers. In the meantime I tweaked 17, 20 and 21 to remove references to Heather (Corey's sib-sister) being pregnant, and to give Corey some beginnings at political skill.
Why? Heather's pregnancy will be a stress element for Corey in the next book, and the political skill will come in handy farther down in the story arc.
So what is the next step? I've already alluded to Morosini's Children. I'm still working on the beginning of it. Read books on the racks at a bookstore or in a supermarket. You start off with a bang, either in the middle of the action (en media res), or with a puzzle. Three examples come to mind.
Crosstime Cop - Marge says "This is stupid." which makes you want to find out what is stupid, and why.
Counterfeit Line - There was nothing like a dead body to brighten up the day. Right away you need to know why that is. You turn the page.
A Perfect Murder - Sarah Hammond, in my writer's group, used a line: It was the perfect day for a murder. to get the action underway. You need to find out why, and who, and so you turn the page.
There's a phrase for this: "shoot the sheriff in the first page." In other words, get the novel underway right away. Don't do mood setting, gradually focusing in on the characters and action. I did this in the first draft of Counterfeit Line. During the Maui Writer's Cruise I was strongly advised to get to the action sooner. Four chapters became two, and at the end of chapter two the main character had been thrown through a mysterious doorway. The story reads tighter for it. Russian authors of the 19th Century have a lot to answer for (IMO). Much better is to study Chekov and other playwrights who get you involved right away.
So what is the line or opening in Morosini's Children? Damned if I know...yet. But as I see it, Corey has to state the problem early on so we know what her "must do" compulsion is. That's the McGuffin, the kernel of the plot, and everything revolves around it. Of course Corey has other problems:
- her project is a research project, and that means a different level of funding and administrative support than a military project;
- elements of her Family want all members out of Space, especially her, who is a real hero. They don't want her at home in uniform as that will inspire other girls in her Family to go into Space. So they want her to resign from the Navy (besides, she has three birthrights, so she might as well use them).
- the Families Navy is gearing up for offensive warfare to put the Idenux away once and for all, and the Children go on some raids;
- Sonia is revealed as having an important job that impacts Corey's work, and the complications that follow from that. Of course that revelation has to remain secret from the Family. Nothing is easy.
That might or might not be enough, but that's all that I extracted from the original source (which was the original version of Firestar).
But it all starts with a great opening. One person said you have only 5 pages to capture a reader, others think it's the first page. Nobody said writing is easy.
