He said, She said

The dreaded conversation tags. They're necessary in a story. After all, how can you tell who is speaking? Um, several ways. Let's look at what not to do, first.

The urge everyone has is to tell how somebody says something. "I don't want to go," Sonia said petulantly. This violates the cardinal rule of storytelling: Show, don't tell." You're telling the reader how she said it. So how should you indicate that Sonia is in a petulant mood? Action.

Sonia threw the book down. "I don't want to go." Better, you have some action that hints at mood. You could be a bit more explicit, such as: Sonia threw herself into the chair, crossing her arms and scowling at the door. "I don't want to go."

This is better because now we're working in a bit of body language. This goes a long way toward 'selling' the scene and the action. There are body movements that seem to be pretty universal, and crossing your arms (and legs) is one that indicates repelling or shoving away. You're creating a wall. But 'throwing' herself in the chair? Let's modify that a bit.

Sonia crossed her arms, her expression defiant. "I'm not going." All right, a little better. Sonia is not longer stating an opinion, she's making a simple declarative sentence. Even better, we now have a second visual, one that is judgmental (defiant). How do we know it is defiant? Here we are skirting close to the edge and interpreting body language for the reader, but all in the context.

What these don't have is the word 'said'. There is nothing wrong with that word, it is probably the most common and useful word when you write. At least it isn't some other word that denotes poor or careless writing. "I'm not going," she stormed. Great line, great visual, but why not show her storming (see above about crossing her arms).

When you're telling the reader how something was said you are far better putting it in context. You have to put in a conversation tag somewhere in the beginning so the reader knows who started the conversation, but you don't have to do much beyond that, provided you make sure the reader can keep it straight.

There are words you can use, replied is one of my favorites; it is as good as 'said', but it indicates a direct response to the person asking a question. But other than that? Murmured, whispered, those work. But they are distinct forms of speech. I've found that if I do use the word 'said', I try to leave it alone after that. I might, occasionally add a word such as 'quietly'. This appears to violate the show don't tell prescription up above, but you can picture somebody dropping their voice when they speak. Other than that I try to avoid modifying things.

The worst are what are known as Tom Swifties. I've mentioned those before. "Get to the back of the boat," Tom said sternly. "The nuclear reactor is fine," Tom said glowingly. This gets back to the old prescription for dealing with adverbs and adjectives: "when you meet one, kill it." You'll clean up your writing tremendously.

As an exercise, write a conversation without using a conversation tag. Write short sentences. You'll find that the conversation is suddenly very quick and can move the story along quite well. The secret, of course, is to try what I pointed out up above: put everything in context. Your writing will seem smoother, and your conversations and dialogue can now advance the plot through those little contextual moments that will slip past the reader.